Metis AM
Talking about what you want to happen to your assets after you die is one of the more difficult conversations you can have with your family. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable, particularly where money is involved.
Despite being difficult, this can be one of the most important conversations to have, especially as your children grow older. So how can you approach this conversation so that it is productive and helpful for everyone involved? Read on to learn more.
Speaking about a will is difficult, but important, for most
If you can relate to feeling uncomfortable about discussing your will with others, you aren’t alone.
Research by Scottish Widows has found that 57% of parents have not spoken to their adult children about their will, showing that the discomfort surrounding this topic is common.
Perhaps more surprising is the finding that 24% of adults haven’t discussed making a will with their partner or spouse.
Despite this, 69% of parents said they feel responsible for their children’s financial wellbeing if they were to pass away, and 9% of parents said they weren’t sure how to approach the topic.
Keeping quiet about your will could cause disputes after your death
When you have decided what you want to happen to your assets after you die and written these wishes into a will, it is important to discuss this with your loved ones.
Talking about your wishes means that your next of kin won’t be surprised by anything you have decided when the will is read after your death. In addition, it could help to make the process of distributing your assets smoother because the person you have chosen as executor will be able to find and act upon your wishes quickly and easily.
If you avoid talking about your will with your loved ones it could, in the worst-case scenario, lead to disputes. Data released by Royal London shows that there were just under 10,000 challenges to wills in English and Welsh courts and tribunals service centres in 2021. This is an increase of 37% from 2019.
A will can be challenged for one of several reasons, including that the claimant feels that the will has not made adequate provision for them. By talking about your decision and the reasons behind it with your family you could avoid additional stress later down the line.
5 practical tips to make talking about your will easier
Even though money and inheritance can be an emotive subject, talking about your will needn’t be an uncomfortable conversation if you approach it in the right way for you. Here are some suggestions that might help to make it easier to talk about your wishes with your loved ones.
1. Share only the essentials of your plan
If money feels too difficult to talk about, you could start by sharing the basics: that you have made a will, and who you have chosen as executor.
You could talk about whether you are leaving any money to charity, or how you plan to distribute the financial aspects of your estate without giving details as to amounts.
2. Consider your family dynamics
Are your children making their own financial goals or perhaps even writing their own will? Could understanding your plan help them with theirs, for example by understanding if they are likely to inherit money from you?
Considering the conversation from this perspective could help you to choose which elements of your will are most important to share.
You could also consider whether to talk to your family as a group or individually. You will know best which format will suit your family better based on their communication style and preferences.
3. Explain why you have made the decisions you have
Explaining the reasons behind your decisions can be very helpful for managing expectations and reducing the risk of disputes.
Knowing the reason for certain aspects of your will can make it easier for your children to understand and accept the decisions you have made. In particular, managing their expectations about how much they could inherit from you can be very helpful.
This could avoid them relying on a larger amount of money than they could realistically inherit and, as a result, help them to better prepare for their own financial future.
You might have decided to leave a greater proportion of your wealth to one family member who requires more financial support. Knowing that this is the reason could diffuse any disagreements from other beneficiaries.
4. Remind everyone that things can change
Your will is a living document that you will likely update at key points in your life. So, the things that you have decided upon in this version of your will could change in the future following events like marriages, births, and deaths.
Remind your family that the conversation about your will doesn’t have to end here, it’s something you can continue to talk about as and when things change.
5. Reassure your family about your financial situation
Keep in mind that your children may simply want to know that you are financially stable, particularly during retirement.
Approaching the conversation from this angle might make it feel less intimidating and a more positive way to reassure everyone about your future and theirs.
Get in touch
If you’d like help with writing your will or completing any aspect of estate planning, please get in touch with us. Email enquiries@metiswealth.co.uk or call 0345 450 5670 today to find out what we can do for you.
Please note
This blog is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.
The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, tax planning or will writing.
